he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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