That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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