if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
