Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
