It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
