Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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