sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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