it was like eating out sand paper
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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