so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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