Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
