Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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