i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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