Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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