last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
