omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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