I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I deserve this hangover.
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