The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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