That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
