Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize