Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
