Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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