nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
