i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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