Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize