somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
