That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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