when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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