It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
