i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Im just a social blackout drinker.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
