If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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