I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
