PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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