I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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