so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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