i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize