The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
