how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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