Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize