Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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