chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If I die, sorry about rent.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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