If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize