I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
