i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
