Ambien. No doubt about it.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
