Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
