It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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