guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
