Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
