oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
