I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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