fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
