you have to choose: penises or morals?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
