i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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