so explain again why im purple
no
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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