guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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