You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
