Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
