i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
