I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
