worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
