just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
