he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
