he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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