My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
